Of Mer and Men
by ApostituteofKirkwall
Summary: Sollux is a deep sea merman with a coding habit and a dislike of the human Eridan, and Gamzee is a clownfish merman who likes to play with the human Karkat. Humanstuck and Mermaidstuck. Rated T for language. (Being re-written and updated)
1. Red and Blue

It was a hot summer day, about mid- July, on the white sandy beach both the boys lived at, and both sat under an umbrella, glaring out at the people happily playing in the surf. They'd be out there too, if they weren't so pale. Karkat had an Irish mother and had gotten her family traits of pale skin, freckles, and red hair, which he typically dyed black because he hated his red hair. Eridan had a condition called Alexandria's Genesis. It's basically a mutation that results in a purple coloration of the eyes and prevents hair from growing in most places, except on the head, (Including eybrows, eyelashes, nose hair, and the hair atop the head.) and resulted in extremely pale skin. Eridan had a purple streak in his blond hair to match his eyes.

The two sat under their umbrella, glaring spitefully at people who tanned, and enjoying sodas. Normally, they'd be out here later in the evening when the sun was going down or totally down that way they didn't burn, but their fathers had kicked them out of their respective houses and told them to go outside and play. Play? What were they, six?! No, they were seventeen year old boys who knew that being outside in the middle of the fucking day when pale was a shitty idea.

Karkat groaned and lied down on his beach towel, closing his eyes, normal scowl still on his face. "Can wwe nevver go out side again?" Eridan asked, his stupid accent shining through. Karkat rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Unlike you, asshole, I actually like being outside." Karkat retorted. annoyed that his anger was being interrupted. " Just not usually in the heat of the fucking day." Karkat hated hot weather and he hated Eridan. Okay he didn't hate Eridan, he just found the water loving, land hating, love stricken ass hat annoying sometimes.

No, a lot of the time, actually. Eridan had a habit of complaining about nearly everything he didn't like, especially about being outside when he didn't want to be outside or about the fact that his crush, Feferi, wasn't interested in him and interested in their friend Aradia.

"Wwanna go explore, Kar?" Karkat growled softly at the nickname. Eridan didn't see to know how to use people's full names. Either that or he found it fun to not. Either way, it was incredibly annoying. But, exploring did sound like a lot of fun at that moment. "Fine." he relented, sitting up. "Let me just lather on some fucking sunscreen. I don't wanna end up a lobster again."

After they both lathered on some sunscreen and gathered their things, off exploring they went. Despite having lived practically on the beach, they both of them had never really explored it any at all. Not that they'd ever had any sort of reason to really, bot today seemed like a good day to explore. It was still kind of early and they knew their fathers wouldn't be looking for them any time soon. They wandered over to the far right, towards the cliff and away from people. No one seemed to go over there, even the local dare devils avoided the cliff. Granted, it was kind of creepy.

The cliff was made up of towering, jagged, black stone and the only entry way was covered by vines. The place sure was creepy, but Karkat and Eridan had pondered the area long enough to be curious enough to actually go over there.

The two made their way over to the cave and stood at the entrance, staring up at the ominous, steep cliff. No birds were over here either, which made it seem all the more strange. Bones of dead fish littered the ground along with the bodies of half eaten fish. The bites looked oddly... Human like, but more, what's the word? Sharp? Yes, it looked like a human with super sharp teeth had been eating fish... Raw. Eridan gagged at the sight of the fish, nearly throwing up, while Karkat stepped closer to inspect the stone just behind the vines. There were carvings in the stone, scattered about like they weren't meant to linear. Initially they appears to be runes, but upon closer inspection they appeared to be... Binary code? What moron was trying to code an old rock formation? Unless there was technology he wasn't aware of, it was utterly stupid to carve binary code into stone.

How did it even get carved anyway? The stone was pretty solid. A loud, inhuman screech suddenly filled the air, starling them both. "Nope! I'm done! I'm leavving!"

"Oh no you don't, fish boy!"

Karkat pulled Eridan back to the cave and dropped him one sand. "The sound came from the cave, so let's go in, fuck ass." Karkat muttered, storming inside, a frantic Eridan following close behind. They weren't vry far in when the muttering began. The two boys looked around in faint fear (Eridan was actually whimpering and hunched over while Karkat looked about in mild concern). A faint glow was seen at the back of the cave. A faint blue and red glow that occasionally flickered. The muttering got louder as they approached the light. Was some crazy homeless person living in there? Or was something else going on?

Upon reaching the source of the glowing, the boys had to bite back a gasp. On a rock in the middle of the large room they'd walked into, sat a strange creature. The thing was, what looked to be, a grey skinned human mixed with a black and yellow eel that had glowing blue and red spots. It's hair was short and stuck up a bit in the back and it had four horns, two on either side of it's head. This was the creature muttering to it's self. It was pretty noticeable the thing had a lisp too. In place of 's' it would use 'th'. A small squeak escaped Eridan.

Karkat was quick to hide, but Eridan wasn't so fast. The creature whirled around and looked directly at Eridan, it's blue and red eyes staring into him. "What are you doing here?" it asked, voice now much more clearly male. "You're trespassing here."

"I'm Eridan Ampora."

Karkat face palmed. Was Eridan that stupid as to try and introduce himself to the thing? Although, the creature seemed surprised. He'd not expected the human to introduce himself. Eridan Ampora. Sounded like a name he'd heard, but he was likely imagining things. Perhaps introducing himself would help the kid leave. "Sollux Captor." he replied, going back to his work. "You can go now." Sollux said, waving a hand. "I'll be here all summer, Ed." Ed? His name was Eridan! Not Ed! He was about to argue with the strange fish thing when Karkat pulled on his wrist and out of the cave.


	2. So Not Pretty

After the humans left, Sollux quickly dove into the water below him and swam under the rocks. There were plenty of secret, under water tunnels that lead in and out of that particular cave which either lead to other sections of the tunnel system or out to the open ocean, which was where he was headed. He didn't have many people to hang out with in this area since he'd migrated from the north and he was typically in the darkest parts of the ocean, but he did have one friend. If he could call him that.

His friend of sorts was a fellow merman named Gamzee Makara. Gamzee was an odd mer, really, and didn't have many friends either. Gamzee was part of a well respected family, a royal family, but he never seemed to act like it. He didn't wear jewels or gold, he didn't speak properly like most of his family, and his black hair was normally a curly mess of tangles, sometimes getting caught around hid long, goat like horns.

Sollux himself was an eel like mer while Gamzee... He sighed and smiled as he approached said merman. Gamzee was a purple clown fish. Yeah, clown fish. Gamzee wore face paint that made him look like a happy clown and he always looked at people with a dopey grin and half lidded eyes. "Gamzee!" The clown fish looked over and smiled widely. "Heeey." he drawled, swimming over to meet his friend half-way. "What's up, Solbro?" Gamzee liked to use the word bro a lot. And motherfucker... and anything with the word fuck. "I met two humans today. One I thought you might take an interest in."

Gamzee's eyes lit up as he tilted his head. He loved humans even more than the weird slime he ate, which was what caused his dopey attitude. Humans could walk on two legs, they started fires, they could run! Human's could dance, they could wear those things called shoes!... Oh how Gamzee loved to watch humans. They were so interesting, really. Sure, Sollux agreed that humans were interesting, but he wasn't the biggest fan. Humans caused a lot of trash to go into the ocean, which caused a decline in merfolk population. Not that he minded the population lowering. Too many merfolk existed, and they were so fucking stupid. Plastic wasn't food, bottles were for storing liquids, action figures were for playing with or collecting... Speaking of collecting, Sollux noticed a satchel strapped to Gamzee's person, brushing against the clown's pelvic fins. That had to feel odd.

"So, what'd you get today?" Sollux asked, righting himself and crossing his arms. He had to admit, the shit the indigo merman found could be pretty interesting. And being asked about it made Gamzee all the more excited. He dug in his bag and smiled wider. "So I found some shades you might like." he said, once more using human lingo, as he handed his friend the glasses. The glasses were simply made, only constructed out of a metal piece for the nose and two pieces of glass one blue one red. Sollux grinned and placed the colored spectacles on the bridge of his nose. They were a perfect fit!

"Thanks, Gam." he offered, looking around at his now red and blue surroundings. Gamzee chuckled and nodded. He liked giving gifts to people. "So, bro... About that motherfucking human?" Sollux blinked and gasped as he remembered. "Oh! Yes! He's a short, pale kid with black hair. Though I suspect it's dyed because I saw some orangeish red in there too. He's got a few freckles too. Not as many as his friend, but yanno." The description of this human interested Gamzee, making him want to find him. "Which way?"

"That way."

Gamzee looked towards where Sollux was pointing. Towards the human side of the beach. Oh well, what was discovery without adventure.

* * *

Karkat and Eridan sat on the small fishing dock near their original spot, talking about the creature they'd found. How did it know English? Why was it writing codes? Was it some sort of experiment gone wrong? Was it an alien?

As the two talked, they failed to noticed the seemingly disembodied horns coming towards them. That was until Eridan screamed at the top of his lungs like a sissy. Karkat jumped and pulled his feet out of the water just as the thing came up, covering it's ear. "Ow motherfucker!" it shouted. "You scream bitchtits loud!" The two humans stared at the new mercreature just as Sollux popped up too. "I told you Eridan was a screamer, Gamzee." he said, smirking and adjusting his new glasses. "Wwhat in the actual hell, Sol?!" Sollux raised an eyebrow at Eridan. Sol? Since when were they on nickname terms? Oh right. He'd called the human Ed when his name was clearly Eridan. So it seemed fair. For now.

The new merman, Gamzee, went straight to Karkat and looked up at him, purple eyes wide in wonder. This kid exactly matched Sollux's description, right down to the scowl on his face. "I'm Gamzee." he said, smiling widely up at the human. "...Karkat." Gamzee bit his lip at the sound of the name. It was miracles to hear it. It was an interesting name for a human boy. "Kaaaarkaaat." he repeated, extending the 'a' sounds. "Karkat. I motherfucking like it, bro."

Karkat glared. Bro? He was not this guy's bro. He was about to say that when he took notice of Gamzee's tail. It looked so pretty, he wanted a better look. But salt hurt peoples eyes. "Someone have goggles?" Gamzee rummaged about in his bag until he pulled out a brand new pair of bright, candy apple red goggles... They looked like the ones Karkat's brother, Kankri, had bought but KArkat had chucked into the ocean in a fit of unnecessary anger. Karkat took the goggles and put them on, then slipped into the water.

Gamzee looked down, curious as to what the human was doing, then he got a pretty good idea when he felt small hands rest on his hips. Gamzee smiled and watched happily as Karkat curiously poked and prodded at his tail fin, all the while Sollux was chuckling and shaking his head. Eridan wanted to pull Karkat out of the water in case the mer he was inspecting decided to pull him under.

Gamzee's tail was beautiful up close. It was a mix of indigo and violet with a hint of pink. The stripes Gamzee possessed on his tail were typical of a clown fish, except more splotchy, like a really shitty paint job. The thinner, more skin like parts of Gamzee's tail appeared to have been tattered or torn, like he'd been caught in a net or in a fight or two. Karkat soon came up for air, gasping and panting. This seemed to concern Gamzee, as his brow furrowed and he helped get the human on the dock again. "You okay little dude?" he asked, face splattered with worry. Kakrat snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah," he answered. "I'm fine."

That seemed to convince the merman, for he was quickly grinning again and swimming around in circles under the dock. Karkat fought a chuckle. He had to admit, it was cool meeting merfolk, creatures thought to not actually exist. And they came in all sorts of types too? And you know what else?

It was cool to see that merpeople weren't all that pretty.


End file.
